Being a Farmwife

The other day a fellow CommonGround Spokeswoman from South Dakota, Morgan Konz, had a blog post that made me smile and laugh while I was reading it. It was called “You Might Be a Farmwife If…” I wanted to turn it into what being a farmwife means to me and all of my rolls in life. So for starters, you might be a farmwife if (I have bolded a few that REALLY pertain to me and/or our farm):

• If your name is taped to or written on the side of a cakepan
• If you call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice
• If the vet’s number is on the speed dial of your phone (it’s in my phone, but not on speed dial)
• If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can’t because the spare is on a flatbed
• If your second vehicle is still a pickup
• If your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your yard
• If the word “auction” makes you tingle
• If “wild game” reminds you of dinner and not the bedroom
• If “a little bit of lunch” involves 6 courses and a dessert made from scratch
• If the “fresh ingredients” your recipe calls for reminds you to do the chores
• If taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic
• If you can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them
• If you’re on the lookout for new uses for “Jell-O”
• If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells
• If “Farm”, “Ranch”, “Country”, “Cowboy” or “Antique” is in the name of many of the magazines that arrive at your house
• If your tan lines are somewhere below your shoulder and above your elbow
• If “Lacey” or “Frilly” refers to a farm animal but not your nightgown
• If you ever went on a date to the rodeo or a cattle sale
• If you’ve ever been grateful for fingernail polish, because it hides the dirt under your nails
• If you’ve ever called your husband to supper, using a radio
• If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer
• If your driveway is longer than a stone’s throw
• If your mailbox looks like a piece of farm machinery
• If the daily paper is always a day late
• If you have a yard, but not a lawn
• If you have lots of machinery and each piece is worth more than your house
• If the leaky barn roof gets fixed, before the leaky house roof
• If the neighbor’s house is best viewed with binoculars
• If the directions to your house include the words, “miles,” “silos,” “last,” or “gravel road”
• If the tractor and the combine have air conditioning and an FM radio but your car doesn’t
• If your storage shed is a barn
• If you measure travel in miles not minutes
• If your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can’t find your husband
• If you consider “hot dish” a food group
• If your husband says, “Can you help me for a few minutes?” and you know that might be anywhere from a few minutes to six hours
• If you plan your vacations around farm shows (Commodity Classic!!!)
• If grass stains are the least of your laundry problems (Cattle poo is definitely an issue in my house!)
• If your refrigerator contains medicine, livestock medicine (Yep! Although I make him put it in the one in the garage.)
• If your car’s color is two-toned and one color is gravel road brown
• If you knew everyone in your high school (28 kids in my graduating class!)
• If you’ve entertained the romantic notion of living in an old, country farmhouse with a fireplace, but gave it up because firsthand experience tells you that it’s cold, drafty, smoky and sooty
• If you use newspapers to help keep the kitchen floor clean (sometimes use them by the front door)
• If you’ve ever said, “Oh, it’s only a little mud.”
• If your husband gave you flowers, but you had to plant the seeds yourself
• If you’ve used the loader to reach the windows when they needed washing (or trimmed the trees)
• If you’ve ever used a broom to shoo a critter (I don’t usually shoo many critters, I usually shoot them!)
• If dinner is at noon and supper is in the evening
• If you don’t need the recipe to make Rice Krispies bars
• If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skidsteer loader (I don’t, but my husband has!)
• If quality time with your hubby means you’ll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other
• If you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn
• If you can make a meal that can be ready in six minutes and will still be ready in two hours
• If your basement is really a cellar
• If “sharing a cab” has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field
• If your job in town is considered a farm subsidy

I thought those were pretty funny! But really, what being a farmwife means to me is that you have a hard working husband that spends many days (and nights) taking care of things on the farm. From cattle to crops, there is always something “to-do” on the farm. Right now during calving season, he’s out checking on cows every 3-4 hours or so. It’s kind of like having a newborn all over again with the lack of sleep he is getting! Last year when we DID have a newborn, I would try to do HD’s feedings at the same time that Kevin went out and checked on cows so we could actually get some sleep in between times. When Kevin is gone for various meetings I get to check on the calves. Luckily Kevin’s Grandma lives right next door on the farm and can watch HD when I do this! I also get to do chores when he’s gone which, this time of the year, consists of feeding grain to some of the heifers and bulls and haying the cattle. I have not had to hay the cows yet; either Kevin’s dad comes up and does it or our part-time guys does it for me when he’s gone.

Kevin haying our cows.

Checking out a newborn calf.

Playing outside!

Checking cows with Daddy!

Rolling out sugar cookie dough.

Baking cookies with HD!